8.17.16 19

Please Stop Asking Me How I Like Being a Stay At Home Mom

Not to be rude, but please stop asking me how I like being a stay at home mom. 

The decision to stay home was partly mine and partly my husbands. We debated back and forth on the pros and cons of me staying at home now that we were about to have our second child. I looked at day care options on and off and actually took a couple of tours to see what kind of care my children would be receiving while I went back to work. After much thought and about 9 weeks into my post-partum maternity leave, I decided I would take the leap and stay home with my children.

Please Stop Asking Me How I Like Being a Stay At Home Mom

After being in the workforce for about 13 years, I’m not going to lie, the adjustment was a little rough at first. There was no real structure, there were no coworkers, no lunch break and no sick days off. I am not dressed up anymore and most days I can’t remember what day of the week it is.

Please Stop Asking Me How I Like Being a Stay At Home Mom

When we go anywhere now and run into our friends or family, I constantly get asked “How do you like being a stay at home mom?” My reply is always met with a smile and a slight hesitation. Everyday my answer could be different. If I’ve had a good day, then I gladly reply that “I love it and I am so blessed to be able to stay home with them”. If I’ve had a challenging week, then you’ll hear me tell them that:

“It’s been the biggest adjustment in my whole life but I’m doing my best.”

My whole life revolves around my children now and not having a group of peers or a second income has made us reevaluate a lot of things we used to be able to do. Just know that it’s not always cupcakes and sprinkles, it can be tears and frustration as well.

“That’s the reality of having children”

When you see me out, don’t ask me how I like being a stay-at-home mom. Tell me how fast these precious moments go by and to just enjoy them. Tell me I’m lucky…I already know. Tell me you never regretted it…that’s exactly what I want to hear. Remember, we had children for a reason and it’s not a “job” to be a mom. It is my responsibility to care for and raise my children, just as it is yours…and I’m just trying my very best every single day.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

19 Comments

  1. candy wrote:

    I enjoyed being a stay at home mom and never understood those who need to work outside the home when a second income wasn’t needed. I figure what works for me doesn’t work for them.

    Published 8.17.16
    Reply
    • Cori wrote:

      To the previous commenter who doesn’t understand why someone would choose to work when it wasn’t necessary. You enjoy being a SAHM, others may not. Just keep repeating your last statement over and over: it may work for you, but not for others.

      Published 8.17.16
      Reply
      • thelavenderladies wrote:

        Thanks for your comment Cori! Yes, I agree..what works for one person may not work for another. Some days I really enjoy it and some days it’s way harder than going to work. 😉

        Published 8.17.16
    • thelavenderladies wrote:

      I agree with you in some aspect…I mean, isn’t that your job as a parent…to stay home and raise your children? But also, coming from being a working mom previously, it’s just still an adjustment to me. I know that I am lucky to be able to stay home with them.
      Thank you for your feedback, Candy.

      Published 8.17.16
      Reply
  2. I don’t understand why this question is unreasonable. It is not offensive Or rude in any way. people are just trying to make conversation. Like how you ask someOne how they are doing and Don’t actuallly expect a detailed answer. I would say outside of very close friends and family, most people who are asking you this are mOre concerned with thEir own life and struggles to really care about your answer. people are going to continUe to ask you this question. Just a sHort, canned answer should more than suffice fOr most questioners.

    Published 8.17.16
    Reply
    • thelavenderladies wrote:

      Thank you for your comment, Emily. I do agree that it’s not offensive when someone asks me…I think it’s just me having a hard time adjusting to it. I seem to have more days that are frustrating then ones that are really good. I think part of me wishes I was still working. Once I get over all of this I’m sure I’ll realize that I have a good thing going for me.

      Published 8.17.16
      Reply
  3. Jessica wrote:

    Love this post! You are totally right. Some days it’s realLy tough, and not pretty at all… Those are the days we have to remEmber just how lucky we are to be there every step of the way!

    Published 8.17.16
    Reply
    • thelavenderladies wrote:

      Exactly…I knew you’d know how I feel, momma!!

      Published 8.18.16
      Reply
  4. Carol wrote:

    I could see why this is irritating to you. just have a stock answer that stops the question in its tracks might keep you from having to talk about your adjustment.

    Published 8.17.16
    Reply
  5. Bree Hogan wrote:

    I’m not a Mum but I can see how that question would start to grate on you. it’s like other personal questions that we get asked. eg. when you get married, the next round of questioning that you can’t escape is when are you going to have kids.

    Published 8.18.16
    Reply
    • thelavenderladies wrote:

      oh my goodness….YES. Those are the worst!

      Published 8.18.16
      Reply
  6. Roxy wrote:

    I think people have a misconception that being a stay at home mom is easy or luxurious. i know many stay-at-home moms who actually have school-aged children (think like middle school and high school) and that ‘s what works for their family. i don’t have children, but could totally see myself asking how someone likes being a stay at home mom just b/c that mom may just need an ear to complain about how her kids are driving her mad.

    Published 8.18.16
    Reply
    • thelavenderladies wrote:

      Very true about moms needing an ear to vent to every once in a while! Thank you for your feedback, Roxy 🙂

      Published 8.18.16
      Reply
  7. Jenny wrote:

    That decision is so hard! I loved working, and still work part time from home just because I can’t completely give it up.

    Published 8.18.16
    Reply
    • thelavenderladies wrote:

      That sounds like a great thing you have going on! A perfect combo of family and work life!

      Published 8.18.16
      Reply
  8. noted! Im sure ive asked this before because its my dream. Good to remember that we all are different and i could be offending someone.

    Published 8.19.16
    Reply
  9. I am not a mom and most of my childhood it was just my mom, my sisters and I so it wasn’t really an option for her to be a sahm. I think it’s awesome that you get to really be there for them growing up but can imagine its easy to get restless because like you said there is no break or adults to talk to most of the time. Hopefully from now on if people ask you how you like it, it’s just because they are considering it and want the dish from someone already doing it.

    Published 8.20.16
    Reply
  10. AMBER wrote:

    Staying at home with the kids is such an adjustment! I had such a hard time the first six months. Now i wouldn’t change it for the world (although going to work is easier most days than being home with Both kids).

    Published 8.22.16
    Reply
  11. Victoria wrote:

    That’s such a great perspective. It’s crazy to think of the costs of daycare, it’s something I think about a lot. My boyfriend and I have discussed this a bit, and even he is willing to stay home if it means keeping daycare costs down.

    Published 8.22.16
    Reply